Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
