I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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