Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
