Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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