okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
