I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
