So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
