wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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