White coat. Heels.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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