Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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