Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
