I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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