Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
