I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
