Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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