wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
