I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
