It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
