a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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