...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
