census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
