I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
