this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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