everyone is single if you try hard enough
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
