His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
