I wish I could punch you in the face.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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