Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
