Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
