yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
