He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
