I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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