I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
