Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
