Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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