im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
