dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
