We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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