All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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