Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
