why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
