i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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