Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
