Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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