I bet he comes in French.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
