So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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