He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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