yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
