Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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