I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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