You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
