I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
